YOU CANNOT JUST WISH YOURSELF INTO THE ARISTOCRACY

I will admit that I love reading a good Cinerella-esque story, where a girl meets her prince. Chick lit has been kind in providing these! However, I think the crucial part of this is that it is fiction, not reality. I borrowed Jerramy Fine’s The Regal Rules for Girls because I thought it was chick-lit- not the case. Upon finishing reading it, I was left with an unusual sentiment: “What the hell did I just read?”

Apparently she has been obsessed with finding and marrying her own member of the British aristocracy from a very young age. Because she lived in Colorado, this involved her moving to London to make this happen. I do not know if I have read worse advice in my life.

1) She recommends moving to the UK for university, no matter what the cost. She shares such gems as, “those of you with an acceptable credit rating can borrow up to the full cost of attendance- including living and commuting costs”, and my personal favourite: “Worst case? You end up in just as much debt as all your American friends in law school or medical school. But you will have the added bonus of also living in England- which surely is worth every penny ten times over.” (Chapter 1). What in the hell is wrong with this woman???? Sure, you will have the debt of medical school, but will not have a job that will pay off this debt. And at a point, financial ruin being this point, living somewhere you have dreamed of isn’t worth it. There were quite a few more expletives that came out when I read that.

2) She pretty much recommends stalking people you don’t know in order to land this mythical aristocrat. I’m glad that she was able to marry one of these guys, but aristocrats are people, too. They probably don’t want strangers following them to all of the sporting clubs, restaurants, and night clubs to “accidentally” bump into them. Here in Canada, we call that STALKING. You don’t even know these people, you have built them up in your head to be whatever you want, DO NOT TRY TO FOLLOW THEM EVERYWHERE. This sounds like a great way to be introduced to the Met (police).

3) “Fake it till you make it.” Sure, we use the phrase a lot in dance, but not like this. This chapter pretty much outlines how you should live in London. Uhhhh, you are an adult, you can live however you would like. I’m really glad that she has figured out how to make the perfect James Bond martini, and identified the coolest clubs, but she has done everything for someone else.

Overall, do not listen to this advice. Do not even read this book. If you want a good chick lit version, read Hester Browne’s The Runaway Princess

Until tomorrow,
The Historian!